As some of you may know, in my real life, I work in a specialty pharmacy. We dispense prohibitively expensive drugs to people living life on the edge of death. So, the best part of working in that sort of environment is the receipt of junk faxes – like offers for tropical vacations in exchange for dispensing a certain amount of an off brand, herbal “medication” produced in Bangladesh on the third new moon of each year.
Well, this last week, we received the junk fax to top all other junk faxes. It was a mis-dialed fax intended for the Holiday Inn by the airport, sent by the agent of a Christian comedian by the name of SizBee. According to the performance agreement sent, in exchange for thirty minutes of wholesome, Christian comedy, Mr. Bee would be compensated with a “love offering” … end quote. Do you understand what this means? In exchange for thirty minutes of clean humor, SizBee gets to fuck a hooker.
Now, I’ve been performing in various capacities for over twenty years, and not once did anyone tell me about this. To put it lightly, I am furious. Outraged! How dare you?! Here I am, working my ass off, day in and day out, surviving on a diet of Pabst and chicken strips. Meanwhile, SizBee is down at the Holiday Inn, right now, snorting coke off a Gideon’s Bible, getting his dick sucked by his choice of exotic sex worker in a swimming pool overflowing with jello salad and man juice.
And again I say … How dare you?!
(listen at https://soundcloud.com/yourfaultforlistening/bathe)
What I'm saying is ... 