I’m 33 and about three years ago, my body played a cruel joke on me, and now … I have back hair, which is unacceptable. My body hair doesn’t even grow in evenly. So really, I have two patches of back hair that make it look like I’m smuggling muskrats under my shirt, at all times.
And just to make matters worse, I’ve always had this god-awful man-gut. And I remember, as a little boy-like child, convincing myself I had just been born pregnant. And every time I sat down to take a shit, I would tell myself it was going to be my lucky day. And I was going to give birth, through my asshole, have a flat tum-tum, and all the boys would love me.
Oddly enough, that never happened. And stranger still, I somehow got married and conceived a child, who frequently acts like a little shit.
(listen at https://soundcloud.com/yourfaultforlistening/adams)