When I commit suicide tomorrow, I don’t want to use any of those boring methods, like poison or strangulation. I figure, you only get to kill yourself once, so you should really go big or go home. But I wouldn’t shoot myself or jump off a building either, because I’m a neat freak, and that just seems inconsiderate. But what I might do is strip naked in my backyard, cover myself from head to toe in peanut butter and cracked corn, and allow myself to be eaten by squirrels.

It should only take a few minutes, but I figure it’s fairly creative and, as an added bonus, I enjoy feeding wildlife.

(listen at https://soundcloud.com/yourfaultforlistening/yamauchi)


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