I don’t normally do one-liners, but I think it’s important to be versatile. So, here are some one-liners I’ve been working on:

Abnormally tall people driving compact sports cars are essentially a clown cars for one. Am I right?

Poorly coordinated people passing through turnstiles … it sort of speaks for itself. No?

Little people who power lift – it’s not so much funny “ha ha” as funny “hmmm,” but all the same, funny … and intimidating.

One more: A gang of inner city, Black, Portland youth with suspenders and hipster mustaches who, in proper Portland fashion, apologize profusely while committing violent crimes. You see, had they only been given greater access to education, healthcare, and other public resources, they may very well have done something far more enriching for themselves, their community, and society as a whole; such as become pharmacy technicians who moonlight as stand-up comics in a lifelong attempt to confront inner demons and bury deep-seated insecurities about race, gender, and sexual orientation behind a transparent veil of feigned confidence and masculinity.

Oh wait … Never mind. They’re fucked.

(listen at https://soundcloud.com/yourfaultforlistening/ellis)


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