Most people don’t know this about me, but I do personally believe in a Supreme Being. I just don’t attend any sort of religious observances, because I believe that to be God’s will.

Think about it. If you were the eternal, omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent creator and ruler of all things seen and unseen, don’t you think three million years of human patronization might get a little old? Week after week people begging your forgiveness for things they’re about to do?

I imagine God working in a call center, eternally on hold, head down, dejected, thinking, “Really? This song again? Can’t we just skip ahead to the part where you ask me for things and I say no?”

(listen at


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