I measured my dick recently to see how it measured up to other penises. Or is the plural just “penis?” “Peni?” “Peneses?” Doesn’t matter. Point being, I have a huge dick. Not because I’m Black or anything stereotypical. It’s just its length relative to my diminutive height.

But in my research, I happened upon an actual medical term. The official clinical term for a penis that is less than three inches when fully erect is, in fact, a micro-penis … which is messed up, and more for the physician than the patient, because how do you deliver that diagnosis with a straight face? It just seems unfair to the medical community, as a whole.

But for me, it begged the question, “What is the female equivalent or counterpart to a micro-penis?” And to my dismay, there isn’t one, which is even more messed up. So, being a social advocate, I have taken it upon myself to make a movie, to raise awareness of this genital injustice, and it is entitled MICRO-PENIS VERSUS MEGA-CUNT. It’s a creature feature.

You see, Micro-Penis and Mega-Cunt are both terrorizing the prudish townsfolk, as they battle it out for social relevance. Micro-Penis shoots syphilitic semen, whereas Mega-Cunt devours her victims whole. She doesn’t kill them mind you, because (as we all know) anything that passes through her voluptuously engorged lips eventually falls back out … utterly drained of self-worth.

Now, for the sake of realism, I think it’s important that Mega-Cunt come out victorious over Micro-Penis, during the climax. But I also don’t want to alienate the men’s rights movement. So I figure, tickets for my movie will cost 20% more than the majority of movie tickets, so only White and Asian men can afford to see it.

(listen at https://soundcloud.com/yourfaultforlistening/coleman)

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