I don’t know if women can relate to this, but one of the primary fears of any adult male is doing anything at all that might make it look like we might be pedophiles. Does that make sense?

Like, I have a kid, and I’m not going to tell you my kid’s name, because as a responsible parent, I’m convinced all of you are pedophiles. Plus, I have one of those adorable half-breeds, so I know you want to fuck my kid. And when he was younger and I’d take him to parks and playgrounds and such, I never wanted to be a helicopter parent, but I always felt the need to follow him around waving his birth certificate, social security card, and a paternity test in the air, just so no one thought I was cruising the park blocks.

(listen at http://www.soundcloud.com/yourfaultforlistening/jenkins)


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