It amazes me how far we’ve gotten while using caveman measurements, like feet and cups and horsepower. Horsepower? Really? What breed of horse are we discussing? When’s the last time you watered it? How old is it? What’s its diet like? How’s it been sleeping? These are all relevant questions when discussing “horsepower.”

And here in the U.S., conservatives will never let us switch to the metric system, because Mao and Stalin used metric. So, if we switch to a commie system of precise measures, it’s only a matter of time before we measure everything in satans and aborted babies.

In fact, I suggest we switch to an even more American system of measurement, ’cause I reckon I weigh ’bout 165 Bibles and stand yay ’bout eleven handguns high. Praise Jesus! God is one and never divisible by ten.

(listen at https://soundcloud.com/yourfaultforlistening/cash)

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