As some may have discerned, I am Black. But I often feel like an honorary Black, because I don’t rap, can’t dance, have no interest in sports, and I don’t intimidate White people. So basically, I get all the racism with none of the benefits.

Although, I did knock up a White woman. So, I think that qualifies me to use terms like “honky” and “cracker,” but “nigger” still sounds racist – which is fine by me, because I prefer derogatory terms for White people, because no one gets hurt, because there’s no power behind those words. It’s kind of like blasphemy.

I mean, if we go ahead and assume there really is a supreme power manipulating all things, I’m pretty sure being called a “fat fuck” is at the bottom of its list of reasons to smite someone. But if you call God a nigger, I’m pretty sure he’ll set the world ablaze.

(listen at


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